Yours

Those lovely gazes aren’t for you to gaze back at,
Those hands aren’t yours to hold tightly at night,
Those sweaters he owns aren’t for you to wear when you’re cold,
Those warm embraces aren’t yours to seek for,
And those soft lips aren’t yours to kiss when the fireworks starts singing;
He’s not yours, and he will never be; yet every night you wish he was, so that you can do all those things with him.

He’s not yours, but there is someone who is; someone who seeks to hold you every night, someone who would gaze at you rather than the beautiful sunsets, who would give you their sweaters when you’re cold, who would give you those warm embraces you were seeking for all these years, and those soft lips are yours to kiss before, during, and after the fireworks have sung.

Bloom

Do you remember what we did before we bloomed into beautiful flowers? Back then when we were strangers; when we didn’t know of each other’s existence until that very moment we laid our eyes on each other; was it fate that caused us to be in the same path? Or was it pure coincidence? Our small talks soon became long hours of conversation, to inviting each other at our own houses; we shared our insecurities, our sadness, and our laughter. We helped each other grow up; we painted each other’s hearts with beautiful striking colours that made us who we are to this day.

I remember we thought we figured out what love was even though we didn’t know what it feels to love someone in the first place, in the end we broke some hearts and got our hearts broken. We fought and created problems out of nothing and made it a big thing, and we still laugh about it till this day. We laughed at stupid things and did crazy stuff that we probably can’t do anymore, we were enchanted by the temporary bliss; we wished this moment will last.

Do you remember what we did before we bloomed into beautiful flowers? We ran towards our future even though we were lost and still figuring out who we are. We regret but we still move on and cherish the time we spent together. We’re miles apart from each other but somewhere up in the night sky, the vast darkness that engulfs us, there are millions of twinkling lights that represents our innocence, our laughter and the memories we spent together; having fun at the beach together, having our own picnic, being on stage together smiling at how fun it is, and watching the sunset together even though we knew that what we had won’t last forever. Memories that no else will experience but us.

I still remember the memories before we bloomed, before we carved our own paths and said goodbye to each other; I’ll always remember them, and I’ll always remember the faces that brought light into my life. I still wonder when we’ll cross paths again.

Our Existence

Before reading this, I recommend you to listen to this while reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k699IAc1TPA

I looked up at the sky from my window and all I saw was blue engulfing my eyes; hours ago everything was dark and the moon was still dancing with the stars, days ago there were beautiful clouds floating in the skies, months ago the atmosphere around me was colder unlike now where the sunlight can scorch my delicate skin. Months ago the flowers in the park hasn’t bloomed yet, and years ago, I was still afraid of watching horror movies and loved sleeping in my parents’ bed. Thinking about all this again, that life is always moving, that time does not wait for us, that everything is always changing or dying, our problems do not matter, your argument with your friend does not matter; this world we live in will soon die in a matter of decades, the human race will cease to exist like the light of a candle being extinguished; our fragile bodies will soon turn into dust as mother nature or god unleashes its wrath on us while this world crumbles. Nothing ever lasts, so right now, even if we’ll inevitably perish in this world, at least we’ll all have each other to lean on, that we’ve given each other strength and the ability to love one another, to laugh and to cry together. Perhaps after we all die, another set of beings would exist; life would start again and they wouldn’t know of our existence. The universe will forget us, but we won’t forget each other. So just for today, let’s enjoy our existence that we have left in this universe

Daydream

I kept gazing, gazing at the incomplete moon in the evening sky, making me feel, that maybe, just maybe that we’re staring at the same moon. The thought of you gazing at the moon with me makes me feel safe and cozy, like we’re connected in some way.

“What are you like? What are your favourite songs?…What are your fears?”I thought to myself, as if asking the moon for an answer, but getting no answer in return, only the sound of silent waves crashing at the shores drenching my toes that I buried in the sand.

I sighed, “I’ll wait for you” I whispered to the wind, blowing my hair sideways. I got up from my feet and started walking, dreaming, dreaming about when I’ll intertwine my hand in yours.

For You My Dear

That smile you gave me filled with sorrow,
as you lent your heart for me to borrow.

Sleeping like a child, falling in love with every breath,
as you wake every day, filled with dark regrets.

I want to bear all the sadness and all the pain,
to lift the weight off your chest.
Because for you, my dear, I’d sacrifice myself and go insane.

 

Alarms

1:00am. The breathtaking gaze you gave me on the other side of the room, sipping my hot coffee as you leave yours forgotten. Those freckles on your face like constellations, seeing a million stars on your cheeks, not one, but a million, and your eyes, one in a million.

2:00 am. The way we make love to each other, as I trail kisses down your back, exploring every part of your body embracing every bit of your flaws. Straddling on top of me as you wrap your legs around my waist, holding on for dear life, as you dig your fingers on my hair, increasingly growing insane for you.

3:00am. The smell of your scent on my sheets intoxicating me, as we explored each other’s bodies last night, longing to be next to you, not wanting to leave your side ever again. The thought of touching you softly again as I nuzzle your neck, smiling as I see the marks I gave you, to remind them that you’re mine.

4:00am. The day you left me behind. My heart crumbling into pieces, holding it on my bare hands, bleeding, as small shards seep into my skin to my bone. This burning feeling on my chest, filled with chaos and despair, a hurricane that will keep spinning forever till the end of time, destroying everything on its path.

5:00am. The sound of the alarm waking me up, as I wake from my slumber, tears overflowing in my eyes. The morning alarm still buzzing, like my head screaming out in agony, reminding myself that I’ve lost the person that gave me a reason to wake up in the morning. I’ve lost the person that gazed at me in the coffee shop. I’ve lost the person that leaves her smell onto my sheets. I’ve lost you.